bullied:

90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.

brendamn-urie:

"besides we’ve got such good fashion sense!"

image

wizcoylifa:

dear coca cola company,

i drank some of your POWERADE drink and im still weak as fuck when will the power begin to kick in? please reply soon, i just sent a mass text to my entire school saying i would beat up the football team this friday

squarlo:

givemeinternet:

5 minutes ago they were chasing the laser

i cant believe you fucking killed your cats with a laser you fucking monster

endable:

how do people even put up with me like i cant even put up with me

gearstation:

gearstation:

my roommate and their classmates are burning & sacrificing an animal cracker to pray for their greek final to be canceled

image

WOW

jesus:

peklaxdog:

angel:

asian:

ejective:

if lust is a sin and im horny 24/7 does that mean i sin 24/7

I don’t mind sinning more and help you out ;)

you two need jesus

i dont think jesus was into threesomes

you don’t know me

nylooms:

tupacabra:

image

it’s a metaphor

The best part is that the crab is the symbol for the zodiac sign Cancer, so in a way even the crab itself is a metaphor

PT